Lost myself

Today is her birthday.
Tis few days after she move in..i'm keep having dream during sleep..or either i'm shuld call tis is dream or nightmare?? i'm dun understand..

some ppl ask me why allow she move in?? i answer with them with no sure..

Yes!..i admit i'm still  love with her after few month tat we break down.
.i'm admit i miss her whether she going well with her new life, new friends, new boy friend..
but tis didn't de reason for she move in..

but 1 thing for sure is at least i'm glad and relax tat she now having a good life with her boy friend especially her smile hav been come back..

but i'm didn't get it the ans for break down..
Why u misunderstand me..

Why my life goes by tis way in the last end of year b4 sem 1 exam..

Everynite i keep having nightmare about tat day..
 and feel that anger and sad which i'm faced after tat day...i would nvr forget about it..i'm hav been scared for tis type of feeling.
..i nvr forget tat day how tat feeling tat fall on me.
.i did admit i'm wanna suicide after tat day coz i totally lost myself..
wat about our promise?

i'm had been lost myself..i always ask myself that why i'm still caring about her since she did tat bad memory on me..

My quotation tat is if my ans, my thinking opposite with how my heart thinking, tat mean i'm opposite with myself... .
.mayb it is my ans for allow she move in.

.i shuld never doubt with my opinion..

i'm remind myself that we re juz relaitionship betw houseleader and housemate..

tat is for sure..and i never ever cross tat line which i'm set it..

i nid to be strong enough to handle tis "houseleader"..
to handle tis house's problem..
nvr angry, be patient and strong to handle the housemate problems.
Help each other if can.


already 5 months after tat day..

Today is ur birthday, hope u enjoy tis special day..
Happy birthday to u



another diary for me since long time no update..