Last feeling in tis year 2009

Today(31 Dec 2009) :
today really dun know why
I am having feel like i'm lose something more than i'm gain in tis end of the year and now is last day of 2009..When look back perviously,there really no feel or bravely to look back of it..my heart juz having like feeling lose many many important "part"..
I really admit tat i'm no i'm..i fail to be i'm in tis year..it no suppose to be me..but my heart juz lie to myself..why??i really dun know de ans..tat feeling really worried me for next year..
Wat i gain within tis year??
wat i done within tis year??
Wat i enjoyed within tis year??
Wat i be pround to me within tis year??
wat i happy within tis year??
Will u all forgive me ??
But the ans is....tat feeling realy heavy and stress for me..another few hours will going to end tis year and welcome another year but why i still dissappointed with it?? I wanna ask to myself
"Can de time return ?? but if time return ,can i change it?? "
Tis question keep flowing in my mind..
today during couselling,my advisor really talk more time than it..about 25 min..but dun know why seem he can read through my mind..tat why we talk longer than it..but thx he solve some of my problem..but some feeling really can't share..juz keep in my heart..even thought my best friend ,my parent ..maybe i belong to tat kind of always keep sad or stress within my heart..or i 'm juz no like to share to ur all.. really regret of it...
oh ya!! wishes for next year!!
i hope i having money 1st..then 2rd is wish having best result...and the last is having girl friend..coz really nid to find one :p...Haiz...tis year 2009 really many thing happen..hope 2010 will better than tis year..

Happiness..meaning??

There is no happiness when you are alone..but you keep ur serious mood and arttribute to communicate with other,tis does not way or meaning called happiness..
A real happiness are consider whether that u can told ur friend and share with ur friends.Most important is "Happy" won't let u feel alone and olso won't let ur friends from ur surrounding lost their smile..

Diary...Blog??

Diary and blog any differ??AS i know Diary is used for writing down our personal secret without let anyone know it..but nowaday blog maybe replace de diary with record down daily life with wat u see,who u meet,wat u wanna share to friends..i still remember one diary in my hometown in somewhr..so whr is it..i maybe forget oledi..maybe someone oledi read through tis diary although having the password to lock it but blog have any differ ??