Last feeling in tis year 2009

Today(31 Dec 2009) :
today really dun know why
I am having feel like i'm lose something more than i'm gain in tis end of the year and now is last day of 2009..When look back perviously,there really no feel or bravely to look back of it..my heart juz having like feeling lose many many important "part"..
I really admit tat i'm no i'm..i fail to be i'm in tis year..it no suppose to be me..but my heart juz lie to myself..why??i really dun know de ans..tat feeling really worried me for next year..
Wat i gain within tis year??
wat i done within tis year??
Wat i enjoyed within tis year??
Wat i be pround to me within tis year??
wat i happy within tis year??
Will u all forgive me ??
But the ans is....tat feeling realy heavy and stress for me..another few hours will going to end tis year and welcome another year but why i still dissappointed with it?? I wanna ask to myself
"Can de time return ?? but if time return ,can i change it?? "
Tis question keep flowing in my mind..
today during couselling,my advisor really talk more time than it..about 25 min..but dun know why seem he can read through my mind..tat why we talk longer than it..but thx he solve some of my problem..but some feeling really can't share..juz keep in my heart..even thought my best friend ,my parent ..maybe i belong to tat kind of always keep sad or stress within my heart..or i 'm juz no like to share to ur all.. really regret of it...
oh ya!! wishes for next year!!
i hope i having money 1st..then 2rd is wish having best result...and the last is having girl friend..coz really nid to find one :p...Haiz...tis year 2009 really many thing happen..hope 2010 will better than tis year..